My grandmother...

Sophisticated, peaceful, proper, caring, and beautiful, these are all the words that come to mind when I think about my grandmother Oksan Alemdar. The first day I met my grandma was when I first opened my eyes. Even though I was a baby, I remember always feeling her presence. It feels like we have spent every waking moment together, even though sometimes we were apart for long periods of time. She wasn’t just like any grandmother. She was my friend. She always knew how to give the best advice-and let’s face it- even sometimes when I wasn’t old enough for the advice given. She taught me to make my own mistakes and realize things on my own pace. She taught me to realese my negative energy out on art(attached), among many other valuable life lessons. She told me her crazy life story and every single time I heard more details I couldn’t imagine myself doing the brave things that she had done at her age. (My mom is another person who I feel that with. She is so brave that I can’t image being that brave and overcoming the things she has overcome.) Whenever I looked at my grandmas’ face, I saw a map of the world… It seemed like she had been everywhere and done everything imaginable, yet she was a great grandmother, mother and a great wife. She was diagnosed with cancer (stage four) when I was a junior in high school. I remember a conversation we had sitting on my bed the day she told me and her refusing treatment. I’ve always thought I had been the one to convince her to get better and seek treatment. I’m not sure if that’s what really happened, but back then, it made me feel important to know that I had been a part of a decision like that. For a while, she was continuously getting worse, and it was like I was trying to block all the emotion that I was feeling. Those blocked emotions since been re-opened… and as soon as I could feel again, I wanted to make myself a better person. The inspiration that I got from her existence was important enough to change my life and it inspired me to be more like her. She gives me and my mother such strength to this day… When I first lost her, I thought about the all the graduations she'd miss, my wedding that she’d miss and me giving birth to my children…Now I know that she will be there in spirit and her life will continue to guide me in everything I do. Sometimes I have these moments where I’m celebrating an accomplishment, and in those moments I feel her presence as I felt it when I first opened my eyes…

PS: Don't forget to celebrate the imporant people who have changed your life.

PS (MOM): Please don't cry if you read this and remember the purpose is to celebrate a life well lived.

Cheers,

Mel