True Confidence

Each year we learn different things and for all of us some years are more the reflecting type years than others.  For me the last few years since I have been out of high school have been the most reflective of all. Looking back into my high school years makes me think of how far I've gone as far as my confidence. I used to be very self-conscious, even though I would never allow people to see me in a vulnerable way. I cared SO MUCH about the way I looked, and felt as if that was the only thing that mattered. Although, the funny thing about confidence is that you know when someone has it and insecurities don't discriminate against what you look like. You could look like a super model to everyone else, but if you don't have confidence it will be apparent. Confident people are happier people and it's almost like they have this bright light around them at all times. And now that I am older, I believe I'm beginning to grow into my own skin. How did I start feeling confident? Well, the answer to this definitely cannot be simplified. It definitely has been a journey with a few different steps but it started the day where I realized that a woman's job in this world is not just to be a sex object. I realized that I was never going to be confident if I cared so much about my appearances. Who made this world where beauty meant only one thing and to be "beautiful" you had to fit into a cookie cutter image? Who ever said that we all need to look the same in order to be "attractive" and that standing out is not beauty? We did. And the only way things are going to change is we all realize that beauty has different definitions. Us, as women, need to understand that by caring about the way we look so much, we are in actuality contributing to perpetrate this idea that women are only good for one thing and that what we look like is more important then how we feel or what we have to say. Thus, for me confidence starts the day you stop caring about what you look like or what size clothes you wear. And please don't get it confused, I don't think that being able to take naked pictures of yourself and share it with the world makes you a truly confident person, actually I believe that makes you an enlightened sexist.

If you are a young woman and you are reading this you are probably thinking to your self that you've heard this all before. That this post is about clichés about how you should "never judge a book by the cover" or "beauty is skin deep." But I promise you, because I have been there, that no matter how good you try to look to impress that boy, at the end of the day you won't have true confidence if you care so much. We truly do have something special that we ought to contribute to this world, but I know that this something is never what we look like... We all have so much more to offer. 

I know this concept is hard to grasp, especially if you live in a place like Orange County like I do, but if you repeat this to yourself everyday, it does become easier. Just remember that you are so much more important for what you have to say, and that you do have a purpose in life. And it of course doesn't end with feeling secure about the way you look or not caring about what you look like. You also have to be confident with your abilities and have self-efficacy. I believe that’s; the next step  of growing into your own skin. 

I am writing this post, because the day I started to feel more confident, is the day I became a happier person and even a better person. I therefore feel some responsibility to share this, because I do feel lucky to have realized this important concept at an early age.