I wanted to bring awareness to an epidemic-- verbal and emotional abuse.
Domestic violence and abuse can happen to anyone, yet the problem is often overlooked, excused, or denied. This is especially true when the abuse is psychological, rather than physical. Emotional abuse is often minimized, yet it can leave deep and lasting scars. When most people hear the word “pain”, they automatically assume that it is physical pain that is being dealt. Yet most of the pain in the world is emotional, which is caused mainly by just a few words arranged in such a way that it will actually send a bolt of emotional distress straight through that individuals’ heart and soul. A lot of people have experienced this whether they were the victim, the attacker, or just a witness, if not all three. I know that I myself have been in all three of the positions. Being the victim is probably the hardest position to be in when it comes to hurtful words. Noticing and acknowledging the warning signs and symptoms of domestic violence and abuse is the first step to ending it. No one should live in fear of the person they love.
So here are the warning signs or a few questions that anyone in a relationship should ask themselves..
Do you:
feel afraid of your partner much of the time?
avoid certain topics out of fear of angering your partner?
feel that you can’t do anything right for your partner?
believe that you deserve to be hurt or mistreated?
wonder if you’re the one who is crazy?
feel emotionally numb or helpless?
Does your partner:
humiliate or yell at you?
criticize you and put you down?
treat you so badly that you’re embarrassed to share it with your family or friends.
ignore or put down your opinions or accomplishments?
blame you for his own abusive behavior?
act excessively jealous and possessive?
control where you go or what you do?
manipulate you?
keep you from seeing your friends or family?
constantly check up on you?
If you or your partner feel/do some of the things listed above, then that person doesn't deserve you. Just because you don't have physical marks, doesn't mean you're in a healthy relationship. Don't wait for that person to change, because in 8 out of 10 cases, that person will NEVER change. It's not worth spending precious time trying to work out something that is simply not going to work out.
The best thing to do in this situation is to have some self-control and have guts... TO WALK AWAY! If this is too hard to do there is always help that you can get. You can research your local women's organizations or domestic violence organizations to receive help.. If you need help with this, please feel free to contact me on melfenerci@gmail.com and I'd be more happy to find the right place for you to go to to get help.
Thank you for sharing this - you're right; everyone in a relationship should read this.
ReplyDeleteI had a relationship like this. I did not accknowledge it as abuse because it was my "first love." I think first love and abuse is the worst combination ever. This news needs to get out to more girls, especially the high school kids, before it's too late, because once they accept it as "normal" and they are "in love" no one can save them but themselves. Had my parents not have moved, I probably still would have been taking his abuse and thinking that it was normal and ok because I was always "messing up."
ReplyDeleteBRAVO!!!! Mel, YOU ROCK! I am so proud of you. Everyday you grow stronger and stronger. You are becoming an intellectual force to be reckoned with.
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