Generation Social Change

I have a new blog! 

It will be launched on June 1st. 

Check it. 

Generationsocialchange.wordpress.com

Time To Focus On Me!

       

       So, lately I have been pretty depressed. There is not one reason for this but I guess many. I have been in this dark place of unhappiness for the past month or so... I realize now that this isn't just going to magically disappear. I need to work on it and myself to make things better and to enjoy life like I used to. 

       This  made me realize that I need to pause some things I do such as blogging and focus on myself, my happiness and well being.  I will also manage my time better to be able to get to know myself on a deeper level and to be honest about the things that I need to work on.... personal development. 

       I already started this process by writing a list of all the things I want to improve about my life and myself... After all you can't control what life throws at you. Some times you are dealt a pretty shitty hand. And you also can't control other peoples actions... But what you can control your reactions to these things and how you persevere through these experiences. 


       Therefore, I will not be continuing to write here for a while. I may start to write again, but my plan for the summer is actually to start a new blog and for it to have a specific purpose. I will not reveal purpose of my upcoming blog yet. You will just have to wait and see. :) 


       I want to thank all of you who follow my blog. Not only did I grow up within the last year or so that I  have been blogging, but I have also found my niche. I have learned so much through this process, and I am really thankful to all of you who made me even more passionate about writing and kept me going.  


You will hear from me soon, I promise. 


Thanks again to all of you! 






It's been real...


Cheers, 
Mel

Domestic Violence Awareness...

Social Change Agents

What is a social change agent?

A change agent is an event, organization, material thing or, more usually, a person that acts as a catalyst for change.

Do  you want to be a change agent?

This post will discuss what qualities you must have in order to make an impact and to be a social change agent.

1. In order to be a successful sustainability change agent, an individual must have the following: 
2.                   Knowledge of the environmental, economic, and social issues related to sustainability (understanding);
3.                   A value system and self-concept to support the actions of a change agent (motivation); and change agent abilities (skills).

 Change agents are...

• Resilient
• Optimistic
• Tenacious
• Committed
•  Passionate
• Patient
• Emotionally intelligent
•  Assertive
• Persuasive
• Empathetic
•   Authentic
•  Ethical
• Self-Aware
•  Competent
• Curious

       They can...

• Communicate ideas clearly, concisely, and precisely both orally and in writing
• Listen to others and incorporate their ideas and perspectives
• Accommodate individual differences (cultural, socioeconomic, global, etc.) in your decisions and actions and be able to negotiate across these differences.
• Engage in self-assessment, self-reflection, and analysis
• Reflect on what is happening to make meaning, gain perspective and understanding
• Engage in civil discourse and debate
• Mediate and resolve conflicts
• Analyze power, structures of inequality, and social systems that govern individual and communal life
• Recognize the global implications of their actions
• Span boundaries
• Challenge the status quo effectively when appropriate
• Creatively and collaboratively solve problems using critical thinking skills; search for solutions for complex multi-faceted issues
• Collaborate, network, develop alliances and coalitions, build teams
• Involve others, inspire and excite participants, engender support and commitment
• See the big picture and the larger goal and understand the need for systemic change
• Adjust to the diverse and changing needs of both individuals and society as a whole
• Set realistic and clearly defined goals and objectives
• Be both a leader and a follower, as necessary
• Analyze and influence group dynamics
• Make ethical decisions which incorporate responsibility to self, community, and society
• Help envision, articulate and create positive scenarios for the future of society
• See the paths, small steps, for changes needed for a more sustainable future, convert it into a task list and timeline, and follow through effectively
• Tolerate ambiguity and cope effectively with change

They have...

• Insights into the functioning and interconnectedness of systems
• A commitment to finding solutions to societal problems
• Political efficacy, a belief that what they think and do civically and politically matters
• Integrity
• Courage
• An understanding of “organic” change

Astin, A. W., & Astin, H. S. (2000). Leadership reconsidered: Engaging higher education in social change. Battle Creek, MI: W. K. Kellogg Foundation.

Recklies, D. What Makes a Good Change Agent?   Retrieved December 19, 2006, from http://www.themanager.org/Strategy/change_agent.htm

True Confidence

Each year we learn different things and for all of us some years are more the reflecting type years than others.  For me the last few years since I have been out of high school have been the most reflective of all. Looking back into my high school years makes me think of how far I've gone as far as my confidence. I used to be very self-conscious, even though I would never allow people to see me in a vulnerable way. I cared SO MUCH about the way I looked, and felt as if that was the only thing that mattered. Although, the funny thing about confidence is that you know when someone has it and insecurities don't discriminate against what you look like. You could look like a super model to everyone else, but if you don't have confidence it will be apparent. Confident people are happier people and it's almost like they have this bright light around them at all times. And now that I am older, I believe I'm beginning to grow into my own skin. How did I start feeling confident? Well, the answer to this definitely cannot be simplified. It definitely has been a journey with a few different steps but it started the day where I realized that a woman's job in this world is not just to be a sex object. I realized that I was never going to be confident if I cared so much about my appearances. Who made this world where beauty meant only one thing and to be "beautiful" you had to fit into a cookie cutter image? Who ever said that we all need to look the same in order to be "attractive" and that standing out is not beauty? We did. And the only way things are going to change is we all realize that beauty has different definitions. Us, as women, need to understand that by caring about the way we look so much, we are in actuality contributing to perpetrate this idea that women are only good for one thing and that what we look like is more important then how we feel or what we have to say. Thus, for me confidence starts the day you stop caring about what you look like or what size clothes you wear. And please don't get it confused, I don't think that being able to take naked pictures of yourself and share it with the world makes you a truly confident person, actually I believe that makes you an enlightened sexist.

If you are a young woman and you are reading this you are probably thinking to your self that you've heard this all before. That this post is about clichés about how you should "never judge a book by the cover" or "beauty is skin deep." But I promise you, because I have been there, that no matter how good you try to look to impress that boy, at the end of the day you won't have true confidence if you care so much. We truly do have something special that we ought to contribute to this world, but I know that this something is never what we look like... We all have so much more to offer. 

I know this concept is hard to grasp, especially if you live in a place like Orange County like I do, but if you repeat this to yourself everyday, it does become easier. Just remember that you are so much more important for what you have to say, and that you do have a purpose in life. And it of course doesn't end with feeling secure about the way you look or not caring about what you look like. You also have to be confident with your abilities and have self-efficacy. I believe that’s; the next step  of growing into your own skin. 

I am writing this post, because the day I started to feel more confident, is the day I became a happier person and even a better person. I therefore feel some responsibility to share this, because I do feel lucky to have realized this important concept at an early age.

How to Help Japan After Tragedy...

I have created a list of organizations that are aiding Japan after the tragic crises. Sometimes after these types of incidents the hardest thing to do is to figure out how to help or what charities to donate to. Although it is important to donate, I believe it is also our responsibility to spread word about the tragedy and work to mobilize our community to help with relief efforts. 

Want to help with relief efforts for Japan?

Your donations are needed!

AmeriCares: AmeriCares, a nonprofit global health and disaster relief organization that delivers medical assistance, is on the ground in Japan assessing the health and medical needs of survivors, says spokeswoman Courtney Ellison. Since its founding in 1982, AmeriCares has distributed more than $10 billion in aid to 147 countries. To make a donation, go to Donate Here or call 1-800-486-HELP.

The American Red Cros: The American Red Cross is collecting text donations, according to Renee Kelly, an American Red Cross spokeswoman. To contribute, send a text with REDCROSS to 90999 and $10 will be donated to the relief efforts. Donate Here

U.S. Fund for UNICEF: The organization is raising funds to help children in Japan impacted by the recent earthquake and tsunami. These may include health, development, protection and other needs that may have been compromised or disrupted in the wake of the catastrophe.  To donate, text JAPAN to 864233 to donate $10 or visit Donate Here

World Visions:  World Vision plans to distribute relief supplies to meet the daily needs of quake and tsunami survivors. They will also be focusing their  efforts on responding to the emotional needs of children, who are the most impacted after such a traumatic event. Donate Here

GlobalGiving: This Washington, D.C.-based group has launched the Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Fund. According to the organization’s website it will disburse donations to groups providing relief and emergency services to victims of the earthquake and tsunami. GlobalGiving is working with International Medical Corps, Save the Children, and other organizations. Donate Here

Save the Children: Save the Children says it is mobilizing global resources to respond to the needs of children and families affected by the earthquake and its aftermath. Donate Here

ShelterBox: According to the organization’s website, Shelterbox is an organization that goes into areas of the world affected by disaster with large green boxes that contain shelters and the materials needed for people to restart their lives on some level. Donate Here

Convoy of Hope: Convoy of Hope, a global relief organization based in Washington, D.C., is accepting online donations. You can also text TSUNAMI to 50555 to donate $10 to the group’s disaster response efforts.Donate Here

International Medical Corps: International Medical Corps is mobilizing relief teams and supplies to respond to the tsunami and earthquake in Japan. Text MED to 80888 to donate $10 or Donate Here

Salvation Army: The Salvation Army has been in Japan since 1895 and is currently providing emergency assistance to those in need. Donate Here

Doctors Without Borders/MSF: MSF has sent medical teams to support the government-led earthquake and tsunami response in Japan.  Teams are running mobile clinics and conducting needs assessments, which will determine the full scope of MSF's response. Donate Here

JEN (Japan Emergency NGOs): Puts their efforts into restoring a self-supporting livelihood both economically and mentally to those people who have been stricken with hardship due to conflicts and disasters. They utilize local human and material resources, considering this the most promising way to revitalize a society. Donate Here

Second Harvest Japan: Distributes food to soup kitchens, orphanages, emergency shelters, the elderly, single mothers, the homeless, migrant workers, and many others in need. Donate Here

Peace Winds Japan (PWJ):  An organization dedicated to the support of people in distress, threatened by conflict, poverty, or other turmoil. The U.S. partner for Peace Winds Japan is Mercy Corps, and the two organizations previously collaborated after hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Donate Here

Jewish Federation & Family Services: Accepting donations to help the victims and their families. You can donate online or donate by calling 949-435-3484. Donate Here

Are you looking for family members or loved ones in Japan?

Google has launched a people-finder service to assist in locating loved ones, and has also unveiled a page called Crisis Response listing donation information as well as phone numbers and websites with the newest information on the catastrophe.

Ways To Get Involved Locally

The International Student Program at Saddleback College

Currently working on putting together a charity campaign for Japan's earthquake and tsunami victims. They are planning to have tables set out so the Saddleback community can make donations to a relief organization. They will also be making origami cranes to give those who donate. Please email sc-iso@saddleback.edu if you would like to be involved. 

Japan Earthquake Benefit Concert

Sunday, April 3^rd

5:00pm-8:00pm

Barclay Theater

4242 Campus Drive, Irvine CA

 

Do you have ideas on how to fundraise for Japan?

Are you doing something to help in your community or on your campus?

E-mail mfenerci1@saddleback.edu to stay involved and to share ideas!

Reinventing Feminism

Things I Have Learned This Week...

1. It all gets better with time, and you’ll know when that time is.

2. Being happy is a choice.

3. Face your pain, don't get over it, get through it, and on the other side you'll find your joy

4. The most human thing we can do is to learn to speak our honest convictions and feelings, and live with the consequences. This is the first requirement of self-respect, dignity and honor and some people just don’t possess any of these qualities.

5. It takes no strength to pretend, it takes real strength to be vulnerable.

6. You are always on the right path, even when you think you have strayed completely off it

7. Love does make the world go round…

Two options...

When tragic events happen to you, you are always given an option to choose between being a victim or being a survivor. When these tragic events make you feel like your whole world is crumbling down, it’s difficult to pick the latter and to fall into a state of helplessness. However, the key to overcoming tragedy lies in seeking empowerment after its occurrence. If you do choose to be a survivor, I believe you also owe our society a great responsibility for raising awareness for these types of issues.

This is why I write this blog.

I know I will always be a survivor.  I may not be able to control the pain that others might try to inflict on me, but I can control my reactions to these situations. I will always turn my tragedies into positive experiences and I believe that is what makes me a survivor. 

After all, good and justice will prevail. Sometimes it just takes time J

7 Steps to a Happier Life

1. Stop being afraid of what can go wrong.

2. Don't lock away your heart to avoid pain.

3. The bigger the risk, the bigger the reward.

4. Focus on what is going right and see that your life is full of possibility.

5. Look at what you've already achieved.

6. Don't let your past dictate your future.

7. You are a creator of your own destiny.

Quotes for the Millennial Generation...

"I am only one, 

But still I am one. 

I cannot do everything, 

But still I can do something; 

And because I cannot do everything 

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." 

-Edward Everett

"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because  they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."

 -Anne Frank

"Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others,
or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope,
and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring,
these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls
of oppression and resistance."-Robert Kennedy 

"We don't have to engage in grand, heroic actions to
participate in the process of change.
Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people,
can transform the world."- Howard Zinn 

"Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker.
Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy.
Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity.
And on issues that seem important to you,
stand up and be counted at any cost."-Thomas J Watson

On relationships, young women, the jerk guy and the sweet guy…

        

        I have been thinking of a topic to write about for a while. Sometimes ideas and topics come to me, however I don’t know to formulate them into posts, so they stay as ideas that make sense to me until the specific topic can be formulated into something that can be read by others. Most of the time, in order for this to happen, I need to be inspired. I either need to be experiencing or reflecting on things in my life, or be inspired by someone, or by something that I read.

        While I have been thinking about this topic because of my personal experiences, my friend Angelica Burns, who is a high school friend whom I come to discover is a strong feminist, and believes in similar ideologies as me, sent me an article called The Rise of Enlightened Sexism by Susan J. Douglas for the “On The Issue Magazine.” This made me think about a sufficient idea on how to formulate my thoughts into a post.  

        Today, I am going to be discussing who the jerk guy is and about the young woman’s do’s and don’ts in heterosexual, romantic relationships when they have found the sweet guy. Those of you who are reading this that are a part of the LGBTA community, I’d like to apologize for not relating this to your lives, but please know that this is simply due to my lack of experience with homosexual relationship dynamics. I’d much rather read a post that relates to the subject from someone who is more educated on the subject. :)

    1. Definition of the jerk guy:

He is the guy who lies, deceives and manipulates you; who can't be faithful; who doesn't think you are amazing and criticizes you for who you are; who doesn’t let you be independent and to be your own person; who can't stop thinking about former or future relationships; who is rude, disrespectful, and mean to you, your friends or your family; who requires you dismiss or ignore your personal standards, ethics, and sense of morality; who embarrasses and humiliates you; who uses you and most importantly abuses you!

       2.  Simple fact about the jerk guy:

LEAVE HIM! He’s not going to change for anyone. Maybe until he finally falls in love—if at all possible—and gets his heart ripped out of his chest, and even then I’d not trust easily.

      3. Definition of the sweet guy:

Simply put, the opposite of the jerk guy.

     4. Simple fact about you, the millennial young woman: You are better off with the sweet guy, but when you find him you must treat him the same way you want to be treated. The sweet guy is not to be used and abused in order for you to feel high and mighty or for any other reason for that matter

      

      Now come the Do’s and Don’ts for the millennial, young, 20 something year old woman who find the sweet guy…

   1. Do cut the “enlightened sexism” out!
This is the first step...

This is something that I read about in the article that my friend showed me in the article that I discussed with you earlier. Although the writer did a much better job explaining it, I will try to sum it up to the best of my abilities. Enlightened sexism is something that is taking over the millennial generation and the attitudes of young women within this generation. It is the idea that feminism is the new “f” word and that women are now equal to men. The idea of women now being complete equals of men in the workforce, in the institution of family, and much of the like, is however believed for all the wrong reasons. Let’s face it; the media is full of Samantha’s from the Sex and City.

Samantha is an example of the enlightened sexism that has taken over our generation. For those who do not know, Samantha is a woman who believes she has it all. She is beautiful and always looks her best. She is successful, has a active sex life and feels empowered. This sounds all good, until you realize that Samantha feels she can be anything and anyone she wants to be, as long as she always looks her best, competes for guys attentions and other women are jealous by her (not including her close friends Carrie, Charlotte and Marinda of course.)

       2. Don’t buy into the perpetrated images in the media of what it means to be a woman in our generation.

The simplest way I can put this is that you don’t need to look like a supermodel in order to get the guy of your dreams. The sweet guy is not going to care what you look like, or about how much make up you wear. I am not saying you shouldn’t take care of yourself and dress how you feel, but remember that you do not need to fit into a cookie cutter image for the sweet guy. 

       3.  Do realize that he doesn’t want you for sex.

You don’t need to dress in a highly sexualized manner to get his attention. If anything, he will run away if you don’t respect yourself in this way.

       4. Don’t make the relationship all about you.

This is the worst mistake you can make with a sweet guy. We all have passions and some of us are very successful in our professions or our academic careers, but this does not mean you have the right to have the conversation revolve around you all the time.

       5. Do listen to him.

He has important things to discuss with you just as much as you do, so remember to pay attention to him. When you are with him, be there physically and mentally.

  

      6. Do act supportive

This is one of the most important things to the sweet guy. Remember to support him in his decisions and do not criticize him for everything.

      7. Don’t expect him to pay for everything.

Since he is the sweet guy, he is most likely going to want to pay for everything especially in the beginning of the relationship. My rule is that if the guy wants to pay on the first date, I try to see how important this is to him compared to how important it is to me to pay for the date or my own meal for example. And I let him state his case and reasons behind it. I think there is nothing wrong with him paying for you on you first, or even later dates, as long as you pay for the same amount of dates as he does and do offer to pay each time depending on the circumstance.

      8.   Don’t have sex with him because you feel you have to.

Let’s face it, we aren’t a bunch of prudes here, this post is intended for women in their twenties and some of us do believe in having sex before marriage. So, only have sex with him when you feel you are ready. Again, you don’t need to be a sex object to get the sweet guy.

9.  Do talk to him openly

There is nothing worst then a relationship where you can’t talk about your desires, needs and passions.

Tell him how you feel and be honest! Also, don’t lose yourself in the relationship, remember to state your case, and don’t become someone you are not.

10. Don’t act like he is untrustworthy

Remember to not act jealous if he has friends who happen to be girls. Do NOT go through his phone or go through his personal belongings to see if he is talking to other girls…etc or act like he is not deserving of your trust.

11. Do act loving and show him you care.

This is a really important one to remember. Also keep in mind that telling him you care about him is nothing without the congruent actions that go with it. Be respectful toward him, his friends and his family.

12. Do be faithful and don’t cheat

No explaining necessary.

13.  Don’t repeat any of the things that the jerk guy did to you with the sweet guy!!!