True Confidence

Each year we learn different things and for all of us some years are more the reflecting type years than others.  For me the last few years since I have been out of high school have been the most reflective of all. Looking back into my high school years makes me think of how far I've gone as far as my confidence. I used to be very self-conscious, even though I would never allow people to see me in a vulnerable way. I cared SO MUCH about the way I looked, and felt as if that was the only thing that mattered. Although, the funny thing about confidence is that you know when someone has it and insecurities don't discriminate against what you look like. You could look like a super model to everyone else, but if you don't have confidence it will be apparent. Confident people are happier people and it's almost like they have this bright light around them at all times. And now that I am older, I believe I'm beginning to grow into my own skin. How did I start feeling confident? Well, the answer to this definitely cannot be simplified. It definitely has been a journey with a few different steps but it started the day where I realized that a woman's job in this world is not just to be a sex object. I realized that I was never going to be confident if I cared so much about my appearances. Who made this world where beauty meant only one thing and to be "beautiful" you had to fit into a cookie cutter image? Who ever said that we all need to look the same in order to be "attractive" and that standing out is not beauty? We did. And the only way things are going to change is we all realize that beauty has different definitions. Us, as women, need to understand that by caring about the way we look so much, we are in actuality contributing to perpetrate this idea that women are only good for one thing and that what we look like is more important then how we feel or what we have to say. Thus, for me confidence starts the day you stop caring about what you look like or what size clothes you wear. And please don't get it confused, I don't think that being able to take naked pictures of yourself and share it with the world makes you a truly confident person, actually I believe that makes you an enlightened sexist.

If you are a young woman and you are reading this you are probably thinking to your self that you've heard this all before. That this post is about clichés about how you should "never judge a book by the cover" or "beauty is skin deep." But I promise you, because I have been there, that no matter how good you try to look to impress that boy, at the end of the day you won't have true confidence if you care so much. We truly do have something special that we ought to contribute to this world, but I know that this something is never what we look like... We all have so much more to offer. 

I know this concept is hard to grasp, especially if you live in a place like Orange County like I do, but if you repeat this to yourself everyday, it does become easier. Just remember that you are so much more important for what you have to say, and that you do have a purpose in life. And it of course doesn't end with feeling secure about the way you look or not caring about what you look like. You also have to be confident with your abilities and have self-efficacy. I believe that’s; the next step  of growing into your own skin. 

I am writing this post, because the day I started to feel more confident, is the day I became a happier person and even a better person. I therefore feel some responsibility to share this, because I do feel lucky to have realized this important concept at an early age.

How to Help Japan After Tragedy...

I have created a list of organizations that are aiding Japan after the tragic crises. Sometimes after these types of incidents the hardest thing to do is to figure out how to help or what charities to donate to. Although it is important to donate, I believe it is also our responsibility to spread word about the tragedy and work to mobilize our community to help with relief efforts. 

Want to help with relief efforts for Japan?

Your donations are needed!

AmeriCares: AmeriCares, a nonprofit global health and disaster relief organization that delivers medical assistance, is on the ground in Japan assessing the health and medical needs of survivors, says spokeswoman Courtney Ellison. Since its founding in 1982, AmeriCares has distributed more than $10 billion in aid to 147 countries. To make a donation, go to Donate Here or call 1-800-486-HELP.

The American Red Cros: The American Red Cross is collecting text donations, according to Renee Kelly, an American Red Cross spokeswoman. To contribute, send a text with REDCROSS to 90999 and $10 will be donated to the relief efforts. Donate Here

U.S. Fund for UNICEF: The organization is raising funds to help children in Japan impacted by the recent earthquake and tsunami. These may include health, development, protection and other needs that may have been compromised or disrupted in the wake of the catastrophe.  To donate, text JAPAN to 864233 to donate $10 or visit Donate Here

World Visions:  World Vision plans to distribute relief supplies to meet the daily needs of quake and tsunami survivors. They will also be focusing their  efforts on responding to the emotional needs of children, who are the most impacted after such a traumatic event. Donate Here

GlobalGiving: This Washington, D.C.-based group has launched the Japan Earthquake and Tsunami Relief Fund. According to the organization’s website it will disburse donations to groups providing relief and emergency services to victims of the earthquake and tsunami. GlobalGiving is working with International Medical Corps, Save the Children, and other organizations. Donate Here

Save the Children: Save the Children says it is mobilizing global resources to respond to the needs of children and families affected by the earthquake and its aftermath. Donate Here

ShelterBox: According to the organization’s website, Shelterbox is an organization that goes into areas of the world affected by disaster with large green boxes that contain shelters and the materials needed for people to restart their lives on some level. Donate Here

Convoy of Hope: Convoy of Hope, a global relief organization based in Washington, D.C., is accepting online donations. You can also text TSUNAMI to 50555 to donate $10 to the group’s disaster response efforts.Donate Here

International Medical Corps: International Medical Corps is mobilizing relief teams and supplies to respond to the tsunami and earthquake in Japan. Text MED to 80888 to donate $10 or Donate Here

Salvation Army: The Salvation Army has been in Japan since 1895 and is currently providing emergency assistance to those in need. Donate Here

Doctors Without Borders/MSF: MSF has sent medical teams to support the government-led earthquake and tsunami response in Japan.  Teams are running mobile clinics and conducting needs assessments, which will determine the full scope of MSF's response. Donate Here

JEN (Japan Emergency NGOs): Puts their efforts into restoring a self-supporting livelihood both economically and mentally to those people who have been stricken with hardship due to conflicts and disasters. They utilize local human and material resources, considering this the most promising way to revitalize a society. Donate Here

Second Harvest Japan: Distributes food to soup kitchens, orphanages, emergency shelters, the elderly, single mothers, the homeless, migrant workers, and many others in need. Donate Here

Peace Winds Japan (PWJ):  An organization dedicated to the support of people in distress, threatened by conflict, poverty, or other turmoil. The U.S. partner for Peace Winds Japan is Mercy Corps, and the two organizations previously collaborated after hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. Donate Here

Jewish Federation & Family Services: Accepting donations to help the victims and their families. You can donate online or donate by calling 949-435-3484. Donate Here

Are you looking for family members or loved ones in Japan?

Google has launched a people-finder service to assist in locating loved ones, and has also unveiled a page called Crisis Response listing donation information as well as phone numbers and websites with the newest information on the catastrophe.

Ways To Get Involved Locally

The International Student Program at Saddleback College

Currently working on putting together a charity campaign for Japan's earthquake and tsunami victims. They are planning to have tables set out so the Saddleback community can make donations to a relief organization. They will also be making origami cranes to give those who donate. Please email sc-iso@saddleback.edu if you would like to be involved. 

Japan Earthquake Benefit Concert

Sunday, April 3^rd

5:00pm-8:00pm

Barclay Theater

4242 Campus Drive, Irvine CA

 

Do you have ideas on how to fundraise for Japan?

Are you doing something to help in your community or on your campus?

E-mail mfenerci1@saddleback.edu to stay involved and to share ideas!

Reinventing Feminism

Quotes for the Millennial Generation...

"I am only one, 

But still I am one. 

I cannot do everything, 

But still I can do something; 

And because I cannot do everything 

I will not refuse to do the something that I can do." 

-Edward Everett

"It's really a wonder that I haven't dropped all my ideals, because  they seem so absurd and impossible to carry out. Yet I keep them, because in spite of everything I still believe that people are really good at heart."

 -Anne Frank

"Each time a person stands up for an ideal, or acts to improve the lot of others,
or strikes out against injustice, he sends forth a tiny ripple of hope,
and crossing each other from a million different centers of energy and daring,
these ripples build a current that can sweep down the mightiest walls
of oppression and resistance."-Robert Kennedy 

"We don't have to engage in grand, heroic actions to
participate in the process of change.
Small acts, when multiplied by millions of people,
can transform the world."- Howard Zinn 

"Follow the path of the unsafe, independent thinker.
Expose your ideas to the dangers of controversy.
Speak your mind and fear less the label of 'crackpot' than the stigma of conformity.
And on issues that seem important to you,
stand up and be counted at any cost."-Thomas J Watson

A Broken Institution: The United States Senate

I just wanted to quickly share something with you all. As most of you know, my major is Sociology, since I am passionate about this subject; I usually examine the structure of society and our institutions. This helps me make sense of social problems within our society and why these social problems occur.

According to Structural-functionalism (often paraphrased “Functionalism”), society is an organism, a system of parts, all of which serve a function together for the overall effectiveness and efficiency of society. 

Structural-functionalism is a consensus theory; a theory that sees society as built upon order, interrelation, and balance among parts as a means of maintaining the smooth functioning of the whole.  Structural-Functionalism views shared norms and values as the basis of society, focuses on social order based on tacit agreements between groups and organizations, and views social change as occurring in a slow and orderly fashion.  Functionalists acknowledge that change is sometimes necessary to correct social dysfunctions (the opposite of functions), but that it must occur slowly so that people and institutions can adapt without rapid disorder.

So according to this theory, social problems are caused by the breakdown in social institutions and the breakdown of one institution will lead to the breakdown in other social institution.

The point of all of this is to explain how the United States Senate is a broken institution, and therefore will lead to breakdown of other institutions such as the institution of education and economy.

Rachel Maddow recently tried to explain to them how Republicans have managed to break the US Senate by abusing the filibuster. Maddow said, “Since they lost the Senate they have turned it into a stronghold for their own party by using power the senate minority is usually entrusted not to abuse. They’ve used that power to break the institution.”

The reason why was soon evident as Maddow discussed Republican abuse of the filibuster, “This is 1919 to just before Republicans in the senate went into the minority in 2006. This is how the Senate worked from 1919 until before republicans became the minority. Then the last time republicans became the minority, what happened? Boing. Look at that. What you’re looking at there is the breaking of the United States Senate as an institution. What these are is filibusters. This is when the Senate decides to take the extraordinary measure of making something take 60 votes to pass instead of 50 votes. And that’s impossible. Supermajorities are impossible. You cannot actually pass things with supermajorities in an ongoing way. This is not the way that legislatures function. It is never the way that America’s legislature has functioned. If you’re going to require a supermajority it means that effectively this body has ceased to function, it has ceased to function as a normal majority rules legislature. This is how Republicans broke the Senate.”

The next time you hear someone complain about everything that Obama hasn’t done please take a moment to remind them that most of Obama’s agenda is currently languishing in the US Senate. The Senate has never approved funding for the relocation of detainees and the closure of GITMO. The Senate has stalled every clean energy bill. The Senate has been sitting on DADT. It was the Senate that killed the public option during the healthcare debate. And what about the Dream Act? Pick the issue, and you will almost certainly find a bill that the House passed which is collecting dust in the Senate.

It is easy to blame Obama, but Obama isn’t the problem here. Barack Obama hasn’t betrayed you and let you down. The problem is the United States Senate. It was once a proud example of some of the best elements of representative democracy has become a black hole that has killed the momentum of an entire nation. This could easily be fixed, but it won’t be, because the American people in their misguided anger are blaming the wrong branch of government. Until people realize where the true problem lies, Obama will continue to take the blame while the United States Senate rots from within.

The Rachel Maddow Show

Fear: The New Substitute for Facts

It seems like I have spent my entire life trying to fight off the irrational fears that people have tried to instill in me.

I was advised not to ride the bus in Los Angeles or I’d get robbed. I was told if I went to Compton, I would get beat up. Before I went to London, I was told it was too dangerous. When I was in Turkey they told me I would be mugged. When I told people I wanted to go to Africa, they thought I’d never survive.

If I let myself be afraid every time someone told me horrible things about a place or a culture, I would never go anywhere or talk to anyone.

The people who were trying to make me afraid weren’t fearful from experience or reliable knowledge.  It was all just rumor, sensationalist news reports, and general fear of the other – especially if that other was poor and black or brown.  People are so ready to believe negative things that you have to assume they want to believe those things, need to believe those things.

Why does this kind of enthocentrism exist?

What if that fear went away tomorrow?  What if we all assumed, just for a day, that everyone was doing the best they could to get by?  What if we assumed, just for a day, that poor people aren’t poor because they are less worthy, less smart, less hard-working, or just plain less?  Where would that leave us?

It would leave us with a lot of questions.  It would leave us asking how things got to be this way and what forces are at work keeping them this way.   It would leave us wondering about how those inequities relate to accidents of geography, skin color, and birth.  It would leave us wondering if those inequities aren’t accidental at all.  And it would leave us asking who benefits from us distrusting each other so much.

It’s easier not to think about those things.  Thinking about those things, for many of us, leads to questioning our privileges, our world-views, and our lives.  And we would rather not do that.  So we just live in fear and try to avoid looking at the everyday tragedies.

But every once in a while, a tragedy unfolds that is so catastrophic that we cannot ignore it.  So Katrina hits New Orleans or an earthquake hits Haiti and willful ignorance becomes impossible.  That’s when our schizophrenia takes hold.

We watch the tragedy unfold on the television and our hearts break.  We imagine the horror that those people are going through.  We send millions of dollars to relief organizations and stay glued to the news reports.  We ask ourselves, why?  How could something so horrible happen?  And we want to know if it could have been prevented.  Most importantly, we want to know if it could happen to us.

Before long, the news reports turn from rescue to rioting.  A little scuffle over some desperately needed food is played on a continuous loop.  Report after report conflates appropriation of the means to survival with, not just theft, but violence.

And all these scary reports happen just in the nick of time.  Some part of the back of our brains had begun to wonder if there was more to the story than just an “act of god.” Perhaps someone mentioned how poor Haiti was and we wondered for a moment, why.  But before we had to take any trouble looking into it, those “journalists” showed us what dangerous people we were dealing with, incapable of organization or development.

So you see, this couldn’t happen to us.  We can rest assured that we deserve our privilege.  No need to examine history or economic systems or the structure of societies.  No need to wonder why these “acts of god” are so much more destructive when they happen to poor people.  We just pat ourselves on the back for our generosity and move on.

And when the United Nations and the U.S. government prioritize “security” over medical supplies, leaving doctors to find saws in hardware stores in order to perform amputations, there is no need to question that decision.  These are dangerous people.  You are sure of it.  You’ve been told over and over your entire life.

There is no need to read about the history of Haiti.  There is no need to seek out journalists who are actually talking to the people we are supposed to be so afraid of.  There is no need to listen to people on the ground who tell us over and over and over and over and over again that the reports of violence are a lie.

Ignorance is bliss.

I’m not saying that there is no real danger in the world.  But isn’t it time we were a little more skeptical about the daily defamation of poor people of color?  Why is it that so many people question the simplest things; yet so few people show skepticism when it comes to news reports making survivors out to be criminals?

So as long as we allow fear to substitute for fact, the status quo will go unchallenged.  And that suits some people just fine, I guess. 

Domestic Abuse: The Types, Shapes and Sizes

Fear: This is the key factor in domestic violence and is often the most powerful way a perpetrator controls his victim. Fear is created by giving looks, or making gestures, possessing weapons destroying property, cruelty to pets or any behavior which can be used to intimidate and render the victim powerless.

Intimidation: Includes destroying her possessions, smashing things, putting a fist through the wall, handling of guns or other weapons, using intimidating body language, hostile questioning of the victim, reckless driving of vehicle with victim in the car. It may include harassing the victim at her workplace either by making persistent phone calls or sending text messages or emails, following her to and from work, or loitering near her workplace.

Verbal abuse: Includes screaming, shouting, put-downs, name calling, ridiculing her for her religious beliefs or ethnic background.

Physical abuse: Can range from a lack of consideration for her physical comfort to causing permanent injury or even death. It could include such behavior as pushing, hitting, choking, slapping, hair pulling, punching etc. and may or may not involve the use of weapons. It could also be threats to, or actually destroying prized possessions.

Emotional abuse: Is a behavior that deliberately undermines the confidence of victim, leading her to believe she is stupid, or that she is “a bad mother” or useless or even to believe she is going crazy or is insane. This type of abuse humiliates, degrades and demeans the victim. The perpetrator may make threats to harm the victim, friend or family member, threaten to take her children, or to commit suicide. The perpetrator may also use silence and withdrawal as a means to abuse.

Social abuse: Includes isolating the victim from social networks and supports either by preventing the victim from having contact with her family or friends or by verbally or physically abusing her in public or in front of others. It may be continually putting friends and family down so she is slowly disconnected from her support network.

Economic abuse: Results in the victim being financially dependent on their partner. She may be denied access to money, including her own, demanding that she and her children live on inadequate resources. These can be contributing factors for women becoming trapped in violent relationships.

Sexual abuse: Includes a range of unwanted sexual behaviors including forced sexual contact, rape, forcing her to perform sexual acts that cause pain or humiliation, forcing her to have sex with others, causing injury to her sexual organs.

Controlling behaviors: Includes dictating what she does, who she sees and talks to, where she goes, keeping her from making any friends or from talking to her family, or having any money of her own. This can include preventing her from going to work, not allowing her to express her own feelings or thoughts, not allowing her any privacy, forcing her to go without food or water.

Spiritual abuse: Includes ridiculing or putting down her beliefs and culture, or preventing her from belonging to, or taking part in a group that is important to her spiritual beliefs, or practicing her religion.

Separation violence: Often after the relationship has ended violence may continue, this can be a very dangerous time for the victim because the perpetrator may perceive a loss of control over the victim and may become more unpredictable. During and after separation is often a time when violence will escalate leaving the victim even less safe than she was previously.

Stalking: Sometimes the perpetrator stalks the victim either before or after separation. Stalking includes loitering around places she is known to frequent, watching her, following her, making persistent telephone calls and sending mail including unwanted love letters, cards and gifts although the relationship has ended. Stalking is a criminal offence, under the stalking legislation more than one type of behavior has to occur, or the same type of behavior has to occur on more than one occasion.

For me all forms of Domestic Violence are unacceptable and some forms are a Criminal Offense.

The impact of continued abuse in intimate relationships can be devastating. Women escaping these horrific circumstances can often be heard to say, "but he loves me it’s my fault. I keep making mistakes"

I asked you before and I am asking you again to have patience and compassion for victims of domestic violence. It is important to realize women stay with abusers for many reasons. Judging and placing blame on victims only drives them farther into silence. Please remember, leaving an abuser is not a decision, it’s a process. Stick it out; be supportive of your friend, family member or coworker.

Remember together we have the power to make a difference...

So spread the word. Don't wait for tomorrow. Maybe someone needs your help right now

Economic Fact: Hard Work Has It's Limits

Person Blame vs. System Blame

Americans like to think that hard work always translates to success. In the American social class system, the sky’s the limit, right? If we just work hard enough, we can move right up the class ladder, correct?

I have no doubt that hard work matters a lot but I also believe hard work has its limits. What happens when the economy is lousy and you live in a community where thousands of jobs have been lost? It’s tough to work hard when you can’t find a job.

A recent 60 Minutes segment entitled “Anger in the Land” focuses on the bleak economic situation in Newton, Iowa. If you have twelve minutes to spare, I highly recommend that you watch it in order to see the sociological point that hard work sometimes only gets you so far.

We learn that a Maytag appliance factory that once employed 5,000 people closed in 2007 (many of the jobs went to Mexico). Hit extremely hard by the recession, business in Newton has suffered and layoffs have occurred at a variety of places: an advertising company, furniture sales store, website design business, and telecommunications company. The Chrysler and Chevrolet dealerships have closed, and so have a tractor supply company and jewelry store.

It’s even hard to sell pizzas. A 52-year-old Domino’s franchise owner talks about working an 82 hour week, and it might not be long before he’s eligible to file for food stamps. One family describes their struggle to keep their daughter in college. Several residents indicate they don’t think their children will be able to enjoy the same standard of living as they have. And they don’t think politicians are working on their behalf. Watch people on the verge of tears (and a few men who do shed tears) as they talk about their struggles. Do these seem like people who just need to try harder?

I think a passage from The Sociological Imagination, written by C. Wright Mills and published in 1959, is relevant to understanding the difficulties faced by the Newton community, which has a population of approximately 16,000 people:

When, in a city of 100,000, only one man is unemployed, that is his personal trouble, and for its relief we properly look to the character of the man, his skills, and his immediate opportunities. But when in a nation of 50 million employees, 15 million men are unemployed, that is an issue, and we may not hope to find its solution within the range of opportunities open to any one individual. The very structure of opportunities has collapsed. Both the correct statement of the problem and the range of possible solutions require us to consider the economic and political institutions of the society, and not merely the personal situation and character of a scatter of individuals.

Let’s apply the excerpt to the people in Newton, Iowa: if the economy were thriving and the Maytag appliance factory still employed 5,000 people and was hiring, and only a hundred people in the city were unemployed, we might rightfully question their work ethic and their character. But what really seems to be going on with the people in this community is that the structure of opportunities has collapsed around them. It’s not the people who are at fault, so finger-pointing at the unemployed won’t do. Rather, something is wrong with societal institutions, namely the economy.

For the record, according to a recent Department of Labor report, the unemployment rate in the United States currently is 9.6% with 14.8 million people unemployed. We can safely assume that some of these folks are lazy, but does anyone think most or all of the unemployed are lazy and have character flaws?

How many communities are like Newton, Iowa but weren’t profiled on 60 Minutes? My guess is more than most of us think.

In this context I like to think about the Horatio Alger myth. Horatio Alger was a 19th century author who wrote rags to riches stories. Alger’s message was “strive and succeed.” Alger optimistically promoted the view that people raised in poor circumstances could rise up the social class ladder to obtain the  American Dream.

Not a bad message to send, to some extent. On the surface, there’s nothing wrong about inspiring readers to work hard in order to achieve success. But sociologists have to be the realists in the room. We’re sorry to deliver the bad news that hard work only goes so far when there’s an economic recession or when society slowly recovers from one. And so we think it’s a myth that if people just try harder they will automatically find success. How much does work ethic matter when people don’t have job opportunities?

It’s disturbing to think that the American Dream isn’t available to everyone all of the time. It’s frustrating to consider that hard work gets some people nowhere. I’m not suggesting that we start reading books with titles like “Failure is Inevitable” and “Laziness is a Virtue.” And I don’t expect to see an author on Oprah Winfrey’s show promoting a book called “Stop Trying.” Hard work and achievement will probably always be core American values. I just want to acknowledge what I think is a cold economic fact: hard work has its limits.